Blush in a Box
by A. Lincoln
Summary: Bella conspires with members of the Cullen family to make Edward blush. It's all in the name of science, of course... and maybe just a little hormonal curiosity.
1. Preface

**Blush in a Box**

Written by: A. Lincoln

Disclaimer: I do not own_ Twilight_. The novel, its characters, and its plot are property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Mister, Mister, may I see your blush?  
Take your time, I'm in no rush.

I've got all day, you've got all night  
So we've got time to get it right.

Mister, Mister, may I see your blush?  
Take your time, I'm in no rush.

* * *

Posted: July 2nd, 2008.

Edited: July 15th, 2008.


	2. Hot and Bothered

**Blush in a Box**

Written by: A. Lincoln

Author's Notes and Warnings: I seem to have a fascination with fact in fiction. I love researching. :)

* * *

The sun was slowly progressing to its resting place in the west when I was called to do an extra shift at Mike's shop. Apparently it was fishing season and the shop called for more employees to handle the expected onslaught of customers, and I had not been occupying my time well, so I figured I would do the few hours and head back home.

Edward had gone on a hunting trip with Alice in the morning and I was left to either bond with his family or finish applications for colleges across the country. I was more enthusiastic about the first option, but Emmett's constant harassment bombarded my mind before I had the opportunity to physically move to their house. His bad jokes and unwelcomed badgering at my human actions made me shy away from the house for the day and opt to finish those applications.

Unfortunately, such applications lay in a pile hovering over my head menacingly, their paragraph sized lines for answers and their gray shaded question leaving me ill-at-ease by their simple presence in my small room. That was why my thankful exhale was extremely loud in the house when Mike's mom called and asked me to take the shift.

I arrived right at four, entering the shop and giving Mike's mom the leftover lasagna from last night's dinner that Mike had asked for. She accepted it graciously and apologized for her son's greediness, but I laughed it off. I doubt Mike would eat it; he'd probably create a shrine with it as its centerpiece.

I dropped my bag in the storage room and was out, donning my art-challenged name tag and my smile. I waited by the counter, my eyes drifting often to items that would seem to move on their own. I was expecting a line up of customers, not a ghost town.

While I was there staring at objects with cruel intent, a handsome man entered the shop with a teenager in tow, who I later found out was his apprentice on their expedition in Forks.

His voice, quiet yet full of unsung knowledge that I had no grasp of, asked to rent a two person aluminum boat. I searched my mind for the way to input a rental in their computer system, but it eluded me and I grudgingly made my way over to where Mike was packing fish lures according to colour code.

He stood up, wiping the dust off his jeans, when he saw me approaching. He smiled and his neck craned to peer behind me. I could see his eyes widen perceptibly, and I briefly wondered if he knew the two customers whom he directed his gaze to.

His attention quickly shifted back to me and I told him my problem. He smiled, trying no doubt to perfect Edward's crooked glory, and told me to follow him so he could show me.

After a few minutes of misunderstandings and mistaken buttons, the man and his apprentice had their boat and were ready to go. Mike was helping them attach it to the back of their truck and I could hear their conversation through the thin walls of shop. Curiosity peaked, I ventured outside to innocently listen in.

Mike must have caught sight of the curiosity in my eyes because he asked the man to explain what they had been conversing about. He gladly complied and took out a diagram. It instantly brought me back to my days in Biology class, with the diagrams of biological structures. . . and Edward. I sighed.

"This is the structure of epinephrine. Do you know what that is?" I watched as his mahogany eyes drifted back and forth across my face and I could see that he was expecting the right answer. I actually had no idea what _epinephrine_ was, and I wasn't willing to take a guess, but he made it seem like the answer would determine the education level of all of Forks.

I blushed at my lack of knowledge in scientific names and said that I couldn't remember at the moment. Suddenly the apprentice who had been sitting quietly jumped up and pointed at my face. I was startled and could feel my cheeks heat with more embarrassment.

"It causes that too, doesn't it?" he asked to the man, and the man nodded knowingly and gave him a high five. I stood there, feeling like a circus freak, and Mike was staring at the teenager as though he had grown a second head.

"Penafriend caused her to what?" Mike demanded, suddenly defensive. I suppose it was because he took that boy's observations as flirting (he had a tendency to do that), and was now defending his territory - stupid human teenage men.

"_Epinephrine_," the man said the word slowly, ensuring that Mike would grasp its complex pronunciation, "is the scientific name for adrenaline, and it set off her blushing."

I whispered an 'oh' in understanding. He smiled at me and folded up the paper before taking out one with a diagram of a fish. I cringed away at the ugly site and he let out a small laugh.

"I'm doing a study on fish to prove that the administration of adrenaline can increase the active feeding of carp in the summer season. You could watch if you'd like . . .?"

His apprentice smiled warmly at me, and this caused me to politely refuse. I thought I heard Mike mutter something rude, but I paid no heed to him and instead watched as a new customer entered the shop. I was about to bid them farewell and leave to serve the customer when Mike asked the question that made me stop.

"So does that make fish blush, too?"

The way he muttered it was completely sarcastic and rude, and I was about to grab him by the shoulder to pull him away, but I decided against it when the man smirked.

"I haven't injected adrenaline in nonhuman species to test for increase in blood flow to the face, so I wouldn't know. But I'm sure someone will test for it someday."

With that, he left with his apprentice and I rushed back inside to help the customer. I was breathless as I emerged behind the counter and my heart nearly stopped beating in surprise when I saw who it was. I knew the customer heard the small lurch in my heart.

"Emmett?" It came out as a hoarse question and Emmett laughed as he put his items on the counter.

"Bella! I didn't know you worked here," he replied, never taking his big grin off his face. I stared at him, looking for an answer, but he wanted to play games.

"The more you know," I mumbled, swiping the items and tallying up the cost for him. His large hand reached into his jeans and he took out his wallet. He was still deliberating whether to give me exact change, or give me the biggest bill in his wallet to make my life miserable, when Mike walked in, talking to himself.

"Epeenphirine, Epineephrine, Peak Freen, where have I seen that before?" He was mumbling unusually loud and this was indication that the subject was wracking his brain.

I knew because of Gym class. Whenever he was thinking of something too hard, he would mumble it, but in a way that everyone in a 5 radius block heard. I used to find it annoying, but now I was thankful for it because hearing his rambling made me feel like Edward for the smallest moment, reading minds and trying not to respond to unspoken questions and accusations.

Emmett stared at Mike as he began rummaging through his bag. Mike clearly had not noticed the large man who dominated the small shop, and I was happy for that. I didn't need him trying to act like the alpha male in Emmett's presence. No one exemplified alpha male more than the man himself.

"It was here!" he said as he pulled a small pen from one of his bag's many pockets. I stared, incredulous, as he walked up to the counter, still oblivious to Emmett's increasing presence.

"Bella, adrenaline's the main ingredient in EpiPens," he said as he tossed me the pen, which I fumbled with and dropped. Before it hit the ground, Emmett's hand shot out and he grabbed it expertly. My eyes widened in sudden fear for what Mike would think, and my eyes slowly scanned his reaction. His mouth was agape, about to collect a fly, when he realized how stupid he looked. His mouth closed with an audible snap and I could hear his feet lightly shuffle. There was no doubt he was now hypersensitive to Emmett's presence; he must have felt threatened.

I sent him a rude look in response to his obvious negligence of manners, but he was staring at Emmett as he spoke. I could hear a faint scared edge flickering around the edges of his words.

"Maybe if we stick that in nonhuman specimens, it would cause them to blush." He was vainly trying to be funny, but his face looked petrified. He took this fear to a whole new level (with sound!) when Emmett offered his pen back.

"That would be fun to watch," Emmett offered, trying to be friendly although I was fairly sure he knew the effect he had on Mike. I certainly could see it on his face.

Mike nodded his head and hurried back to his post, abandoning his EpiPen. I tried to muffle my laugh as Emmett winked at me. He decided to pay for his items with exact change, probably out of pity, and he was on his way.

I let the EpiPen spin on the tabletop for awhile, gazing at it with a thoughtful look. It was then that it hit me.

Nonhuman specimen.

Vampires.

Edward.

My grin was slow and deliberate as I picked up the EpiPen and toyed with it between my fingers. Could this work? Would I be able to see Edward blush?

I nearly squealed at the mere thought of seeing pink tinge his beautiful, pale face, and I suddenly wished to be the initiator of such a feat. I immediately understood why Edward was always partial to my stupid blushes, and I figured that this was the feeling he got when seeing the blood rush to my face.

But, as I smiled and stared at the object before me, something dreadfully important came to mind. Blushing involved blood flow. Edward had no blood flow.

I thought my plan was brilliant, but now it seemed immature and idiotic. I wanted to toss the pen in aggravation, but I remembered it was Mike's. I brought it back to his still slightly shocked form and he mumbled his thanks.

"Why was _he_ here anyway?" Mike asked cautiously, clearly looking for some form of deceit I would never partake in. I smiled at him and thought of the most reasonable explanation.

"He was probably getting some things for Edward. He went out camping," I replied smoothly.

Apparently he believed me for he returned to his work without a word, although he had a speculative look in his eye. I ignored it and ambled back to the counter. With an audible thud, I sat in the chair and stared at the door.

I had the feeling that I could accomplish this and a flicker of hope ignited a burning need within me. With a bored exhale of air, I realized that I _really_ wanted to see him blush. More than anything right now. The mental image clouded my thoughts and anyone who came into the shop know would probably assume I was dazed. . . or high.

But it was just the thought of witnessing a 107 year old man blush for the first time since 1918 that made my fingers tingle with excitement and my breath quicken. I felt the sheer thrill pool in my stomach and the butterflies unleashed their fury. What if this experiment could lead to other things?

I clutched my shirt lightly as my stomach marauded me with a new wave of emotions. I could hear my breath quickening against the counter as I lay my cheek against the cold surface. The temperature change brought much needed relief, and I could feel the sensations in my stomach go from boiling to ebbing quietly. I turned my head to see if Mike was paying any attention to my strange actions, but he was still packing, having moved on to the flashlights. I watched his back for awhile, trying to take my mind off Edward in all his blushing godliness, and practiced breathing techniques.

The sun was setting by the time the last customer arrived. I rung out her purchases, gave her a discount card for their next visit, and smiled warmly at Mike who high fived me once she had left. I retrieved my belongings from the bag and emerged from the room with a large smile on my face. I spotted Mike rummaging for the keys in the drawer by the cash register. I couldn't really tell him my plans, so a simple gesture of appreciation would have to do. Mike looked at me questioningly as I walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. His hands were shaky and hesitant as they wrapped around me, and I patted him on the back as I let go. He waved bye, a dazed look on his face, as I left.

I walked to my truck, as normally as I thought possible, and quickly jumped in. A flurry of paint specs littered the ground as I closed the door, and when I put the key in the engine, I paused. The act of turning the car on brought about a thought that made me blush harder than I thought I ever could.

Edward doesn't get embarrassed easily. And what other ways were there to make someone blush?

I drove home with the intent of taking a very long, cold shower.

* * *

"So you're asking me what gets Edward hot and bothered."

"Not exactly, Emmett."

". . .What makes him horny?"

"No!"

"How about what makes him pitch a tent?"

"What does that mean?" I asked, confused and aggravated, an edgy tone noticeable in my quiet voice. I would be eternally grateful to Emmett, if I didn't choke him to death first.

Emmett sat in the couch beside from me, eyeing me with pure humor laced in his eyes as he looked me over. I could feel the immense heat radiating from my face and he couldn't help but burst into laughter at my pathetic, naïve sight.

I shouldn't have come to him for this, but he had already seen the situation and understood my plan. I would have gladly gone to Alice or anyone else but this infuriating man, but, besides Edward, Emmett enjoyed my blushes the most and I figured that gave me the edge I needed to make this succeed.

Unfortunately, Emmett thought otherwise. He was having too much fun at my expense and sat there, waves of amusement rolling off his burly form. I wanted to glare at him, but I kept myself composed because I knew my silly attempts at anger would just further his enjoyment.

Thank goodness Edward was still with Alice, somewhere up north, working out quirks for an event they refused to let me in on. If he had been here, Emmett would have been running.

The both of us sat in the Cullen home, across from each other in his and Rosalie's room, staring and silently daring one to go first. I would not speak; I had asked him a valid question that required an answer. I knew Edward went 'camping', and we both knew what that meant, so why in the world would I need to help him pitch a tent?

Emmett grinned at me and combed through his curls with his hair, sighing in the process. My eyes began to narrow into glare mode, but I pursed my lips and they slid back up to observing position. My lips tingled with the applied pressure, but I kept my face indistinct as he eyed me cautiously.

Then he made a gesture with his hand that involved his lower region, and I nearly choked on my own saliva.

I sputtered frantically as I tried to form words, but Emmett was not paying attention; he had doubled over, howling in laughter, his hand grasping the couch with such force that I could distinctly hear the leather crunching under his immense grasp.

I wanted to stick my tongue out at him, but the sudden realization that he would probably use the gesture to heighten his amusement made me reluctant. I decided to keep the appendage in my mouth and make better use of it by biting on it as I waited for him to finish.

After several tense moments of glorious elation at my expense, Emmett glanced up in my direction. His eyes roamed over my face for a tiny second, and I could see him about to burst into another round of annoying laughter. I put one hand up for him to stop.

"Emmett, please. . . ," I pleaded, and my eyebrows furrowed in worry. My plan was backfiring horribly, but I was sure he heard the desperation in my voice because he smiled once before straightening in his seat.

"Okay, okay, sorry. But you need to get out more." He pointed at my face to solidify his point and, on cue, my face heated up from his simple acknowledgement. I waved my hand trivially and bit my lip as I waited for him to give me an appropriate answer. He deliberated for a moment and then his eyes smiled.

"You've got to lick his ear."

I stared at him, and then it was my turn to be amused.

"And how would you know? You licked it?" I responded shrewdly, a nasty smirk marring my face.

"It was an accident," he responded calmly.

Oh.

He was serious.

I looked away awkwardly, masking the action as mulling over my only option. Edward put many barriers on our physical relationship and maybe doing such a thing would jeopardize how he regarded me in that way, but Emmett seemed as though he was not willing to give any more advice. I stood up and tapped him on the shoulder comfortingly before I walked awkwardly to the door. I was about to make my exit when he caught my attention by loudly clearing his throat.

"Unless. . . ."

His suggestive trail off made me pause to listen to him intently.

"You wait until he goes to your house, lay in your bed, and mastur-"

"No!"

Now I understood how Rosalie and Emmett had such a flagrant relationship. I could hear his boisterous laughter as I stormed down to Carlisle's office.

* * *

Posted: July 3rd, 2008.


	3. Sparks and Stains

**Blush in a Box**

Written by: A. Lincoln

Disclaimer: I do not own_ Twilight_. The novel, its characters, and its plot are property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

I looked back warily as I sauntered to Carlisle's office. I wanted to ensure that Emmett was not quietly following behind because he was overtly curious; if anything, I wanted to at least have some privacy to someone who wouldn't laugh at my naivety. Nevertheless, privacy would never be something granted in a household of vampires – I was sure that if Emmett were in the garage playing with his Jeep, he would have heard us. Well me, anyway.

My eyes continued to be cautious as my fist knocked lightly on the large mahogany doors that were Carlisle's office. My thoughts wandered to the questions I planned to ask and as awkward and out of place that they were, Carlisle would understand. After all, he was one who loved compromise, even going so far as to look for it in impossible places. I could trust him with this. He would see where my mind was coming from. Right?

The rapping on the door was ear piercing compared to the dead silence in the hallway. I figured it was because of my doubts; when I wasn't sure of my actions, little things around me seemed to grow in presence and I became hyperaware of them. Then again, I suppose it was just a cold fact that I was knocking with unnecessary force; lately, I tended to consider force as an outlet in response to my frayed nerves, and today was no exception.

With a shaky laugh, I realized he wasn't in his office. I had been knocking for such a long time that I hadn't pieced together his lack of response until my knuckles began to tingle, alerting me to their abuse. He would have known I was at the door the moment I planted my feet, and he wasn't one to betray common courtesy with ignorance.

With a sigh, I stepped back and checked the hallway once again for Emmett. All of the other doors were closed although no one else was home, and I quickly tried to subdue the impending paranoia tightening in coils around my lungs. I had never felt it before, but a nearly empty house made me more alert than a house full of vampires. It was funny how odd that sounded, but the lack of presence, the still air, usually whipping around my face as they silently moved around, the silent environment, usually filled with the quick murmurs of their speech - a testament to several pent up emotions unleashing at once, was all that made my skin tingle with fear.

I had become more attached than I had thought to each of their presences and I realized the physical pain that I felt when Edward was away could be extended to each of them; except for Emmett, as of now. Big brother or not, his head was too intricate yet empty for my liking.

A quick scan of the area told me that he was not upstairs and I would not be harassed if I stayed up here. My human tendencies told me that maybe Carlisle did not hear me knock, although my mind told me that he was not home. But the human side won over and I continued my idiotic pursuit.

I called Carlisle's name softly; surely he would hear me if he was in the area. And, true to his hearing, a shadow appeared right in front of me before I had time to blink.

Adrenaline coursed through my veins (ha!) and I jumped, a reflex reaction. My shoulders stiffened perceptibly as his form stood beside, and I was sure I heard his musical laughter under his breath. I wasn't positive about the source of his laughter; was it my external or internal reaction that caused it? I g rumbled under my breath; it was so embarrassing being the only one for miles that had a beating human heart.

He smiled warmly and ushered me inside. I took tentative steps forward. I was afraid, for lack of a better term, but I tried not to let him see my hesitance. At the hospital, it was easy to be normal around him because all I had to do was moan and complain. But I wasn't hurt, and he was here, and I felt threatened and scared for no good reason.

I briefly considered stubbing my toe somewhere so that my natural actions in his presence would surface, but I knew the pain would reroute my battle plan, and the last thing I needed was to be conversing during a trip to the hospital. After all, this was not about me; it was about Edward, and consequently, any pain he could receive for my simple pleasures.

I felt like a creepy sadist and I wanted to slap myself for being so crude. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if I liked that also because I'm sure that, subconsciously, I'd enjoy the whole S&M thing. I was so used to it ever since Edward arrived in my life. And I wondered if he would enjoy that, too. Lets play, 'what object can puncture your beautiful skin?' or 'pin the tail on the human so you could bite her!' Oh, yes. Hunting in the bedroom would interesting.

I felt like an idiot.

He could tell I was evaluating something by the look on my face and his response to this fact unnerved me as I turned my head to idly stare at the magnificent paintings adorning the walls. The quiet in the room was welcoming, but the delay made me antsier to get this over with.

I remembered fondly when Edward brought me here and explained Carlisle's past; if it wasn't for that simple visit, I would not know what Carlisle had to go through to become a person of such control, one who tried to make the best of what he was. But I had learned, through a lovely medium, and his story was the main cause for my distress.

It made him _intimidating_. He had been around for much longer than my grandparents had and knew of concepts and ideas I could barely name. He had plenty of time to research topics, and I'm sure vampirism had come up in his musings once or twice. He would know more about a vampire's body than I would, but would he be fond of my plan? Honestly, would any _sane_ person be fond of my plan?

I refused to let the answer to that deter me and I straightened my shoulders to prepare myself. He noticed, of course, and eyed me curiously, his eyebrow arching upwards perfectly and his lips set in a tiny smile. He was at his desk, his elbows set on the clean surface and his hands intertwined.

"What can I do for you?" he asked pleasantly, motioning for me to sit in one of the comfortable sofas. They looked very inviting and I eyed them with longing but I knew that if I took a seat, it would fry my nerves even more. There was no need for a fire in the house.

I shook my head in a negative response to his invitation and returned his smile with an awkward one of my own. So I stood there, fumbling with the words in my head like a fool. He waited, years of patience rolling off his calm figure in waves and making my own twitch with apprehension. His eyes were not probing and determined as Edward's would have been, but they held a quiet intimidation that made the blood course faster through my veins.

I was positive he could hear the disruptive throbbing of my heart, and I could not stop the blush from rising to my cheeks because of my embarrassment. As the seconds passed, my body was steadily breaking down on itself, and I could no longer find the will to speak. This was stupid.

Then I remembered why I was here in the first place, and the reason emitted beacons of light to save me from my unnecessary drowning. I reached for Edward's face in my vision, my thumbs snapping against my fists like tiny crabs reaching for food. His face became closer with each step I took, clearer in a sense, and I could see the faint blush colour his pale cheeks as he smiled crookedly at me.

And then I was there, my fingers lightly tracing the stain on his cheeks, a look of pure ecstasy on my features, staring into his eyes and beholding flames of passion within them, beckoning me forward, asking me to lick his ear again and again. . . .

I practically gushed with satisfaction. A faint noise escaped my lips and my hand flew up in response. The noise scattered my picture of Edward and I was thrust back into reality rather harshly with Carlisle's loud throat clearance. I stared hesitantly into his butterscotch eyes and was surprised to find a hint of confusion laced within them.

His eyes slowly moved to my hands, shaped like pincers, and snapping with tension. I immediately stopped and I could feel the blush return to my cheeks - or possibly just deepen into what probably was a deep maroon colour. I watched him sheepishly as he returned his focus to my face. There was definitely something wrong when the line that separated dream and reality became nearly indistinct.

I could feel the doubt lingering in my stomach, but a new emotion was making the fluids swim with anticipation. With a gasp I coyly morphed into a misplaced cough, I realized that if I envisioned Edward blushing prettily, I would be able to go survive this conversation without giving myself a hemorrhage. It was almost like the velvet voice that carried me through my darkest time, but I wouldn't be causing myself bodily harm. I would, however, be causing myself to make use of some other bodily functions.

I made myself giddy with the mere thought.

"Bella, I'm sorry to disturb your" - he pondered the correct word for a moment - "contemplation, but the hospital has requested my presence in a few minutes."

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling utterly idiotic under his scrutinizing gaze. It was like having your father catching you doing something socially unacceptable. It wasn't supposed to happen.

I quickly went over my thoughts and decided that hypothetical was the way to go. If I made it seem like I was just curious and was not planning, in any way, to use the contents of the conversation outside of this room, he would answer me willingly. I was afraid to think of his thoughts it I told him the _who_ and the _how_ of this little plan.

"How long does the blood you drink stay in your body?" I asked slowly, my eyes scanning back and forth across his face to gauge his reaction. He remained calm and seemed to ignore the sudden thrumming of my heart after I posed the question.

"Indefinitely, I suppose. If our tissues have not fully grown accustomed to the lack of human blood, it takes longer for other substances - like animal blood - to be absorbed. If I were to put a time stamp on it, I would estimate between an hour or two."

I nodded my head in understanding. "So, the blood you hunt flows in your bloodstream until the tissues absorb what it needs?"

"To the best of my knowledge, yes."

A separate wave of questions formed at the base of my throat, crashing against the walls in annoyance and defiance, and I tried to calm myself. I found this extremely interesting and Carlisle effectively had my curiosity piqued with his words. But before I could ask a question that was off topic, Edward's face emerged above the waves and dazed me shortly. The blush was there, even more pronounced then before, and I willed myself further.

"So, if a foreign substance was injected into your veins in the time, it would mix with the blood?" I tried to go for subtlety, but my question came off awkward and detached from the beginning of my interrogation.

He swiveled his chair and reached to one of his many bookshelves. A moment later, he turned with a large hardcover book. It easily surpassed a thousand pages, and the thought caused me to wonder if he had gone through all the books on his shelves.

He turned to a page without sparing a glance at my frozen form, and his finger traced some paragraphs in the middle. He snapped the book shut and shot me a brilliant smile.

"Not quite. If we bit an animal that had anemia, what do you think would happen?"

Of course, my answer was completely wrong and my attempt at humor wasted in the effort. "You'd be hungry again in a few minutes?"

He took my response in stride though, and smiled at me understandingly. "Maybe," he mused, "but it would not be likely. We do not contract diseases because our bodies, our immune systems as you would call it, were made in such a way that many substances would be destroyed upon entry."

He must have seen my face fall slightly, because he waved his hand in a trivial manner and continued. "But, that is not to say that some substances _can _survive in the bloodstream_. _Believe it or not, tests have been done out of curiosity and it has been found that there are some substances that can sustain themselves in such an environment."

I felt my face brighten at his words and I tried to turn it into comprehension. It must have looked like Frankenstein revulsion in the end, but it didn't matter. If there were a possibility that this could work, I would take it.

I fumbled with the Epi-pen in my pocket and mulled my last question over. Emmett was a nice person and all, but if there were a better suggestion when it came to Edward, I would take that also. Carlisle, of course, knew Edward the longest, which meant that he was the most likely candidate to know something about his likes and dislikes.

"Do you have any idea what embarrasses Edward?" I asked conversationally, although it was obvious I was scrambling for more information. The question seemed to catch him off guard because he sent me the oddest expression before returning to his calm façade.

"Ah. . . you should ask Emmett," he said quickly, then smiled (nervously?) as he got up to grab his things for the hospital. I gaped at him as he pulled on his jacket and followed me out of his office.

I could hear Emmett's boisterous laughter - this time of victory - from downstairs.

* * *

Once I made it home, I cleaned myself up. I reeked of nervous sweat and my face felt disgusting. The hot shower was welcoming and the water pouring over my stiff joints made them loosen and relax. I spent longer time that necessary, partly because I knew I would be too agitated if I sat around and waited for Edward, and partly because I was avoiding a call that I would have to make.

I frowned as I stepped out of the shower and dried my hair. I looked murderous in the mirror, almost as though I was trying to glare the reflection into smithereens. I knew how effective that was when I was finished; the mirror was still in one piece and laughing at me as I left the washroom. I knew it was never a good sign when inanimate objects did animate things, like the devilish magnets that mocked me a summer ago. This was the result of a lack of Edward for long periods, but I was determined to use my time more wisely.

I sat in the kitchen, eating a cold sandwich left over from this morning while staring at the phone mournfully. I picked at the lettuce as I waited for the confidence to form inside me. Unfortunately, it took longer than expected to gain the confidence needed to call Mike. There were many possibilities regarding the other end of the line and most of them spawned from his mother's reaction to his missing Epi-pen.n

I exhaled deeply to slow down my fluttering heart and picked up the phone. The dial tone wailed back menacingly at me and I scowled as I set the phone back on its perch. Damnit, I could not even call Mike and remind him that I had his lifeline, and possibly controlled his fate if he had a swallowed too many nuts.

I licked my dry lips and tried again. This time I actually was able to punch in the numbers, and I felt triumphant as the ringing resounded through my ear.

"Newton residence. Home of the falling apples," the other end said exuberantly, but I was not fooled. Mike had caller ID, so I expected a punch line every time I called his house, which was rarely.

"Ha ha," I quipped. "I have your Epi-pen, you know."

"Huh? It's not mi-"

My ear was suddenly bomb barded with the sound of rushing static, and I recoiled away from the phone. Little specs of confusion dotted my eyes and I blinked hard to clear my vision. I must have been interrupting something when I called. As the noise settled, I brought the phone back up to my ear and spoke again.

"Hello?" I called into the phone and there was no response. Strange. I waited for a few more seconds before calling out again. I could hear the faint rustling of materials in the background and garbled speech from the other side. I strained my ear to listen more closely, but it was short-lived by the deafening crashing sound that came through.

"What's happening?" I demanded, not sure if I was even connected to him anymore. There was still no response, and my mind shot all over the place as I pieced together outrageous situations, most of which lead to his death by my hands. What if a bee had stung him? Had a chocolate bar for breakfast and it was kicking in now? Had too many drugs, legal or otherwise?

I waited anxiously for someone to appear on the next line, and when they did, my thumb was about to disconnect the call. It was Mike, out of breath and laughing. I waited angrily for him to explain himself.

"Cullen's trying to fix my car and Tyler accidently hit him in the, uh, you know, with the spark plug."

My mind derailed with the news and began to reassemble itself. His mention of Cullen set off the frantic process, and I found myself glaring at the phone as I let that sentence sink in. What Cullen was he possibly speaking of? Obviously not Edward. Then I realized that Emmett was at home and Jasper never exhibited any long held knowledge about cars. He was more of the motorcycle type, which left Edward as the other male Cullen, excluding Carlisle. Had they come back from hunting? Why was he with Mike? Why was Tyler there? Why wasn't he with _me_?

I nodded fervently to shake the questions from my mind. I had to look at the bright side; Edward was back and my plan would be set into motion soon enough. Even so, the last part of Mike's exclamation stole my attention. My instincts kicked in and I was about to ask if Edward was all right, when I heard Mike yell to Tyler.

"What? He didn't even look like he was in pain? No doubling over? Nothing?"

I heard Tyler's confirmation from the very fringes of the sound on his side, and I stared out the window in contemplation. I knew Edward felt like granite, but. . . .

I shook my head and hissed into the phone. "Why is Edward there? Put him on."

I could almost feel Mike's shrug before he handed the phone to Edward. I heard Tyler's mystified, edgy laughter and the guilt I felt for Mike and his Epi-pen dissolved immediately.

"Hello, Bella," he said softly, and I could hear the amused edge in his voice. Clearly, he was trying too hard to have a human reaction to something that didn't affect him as much as those two would've liked.

I was prepared to give him a piece of my mind for going to Mike instead of me first, but as selfish as I was, I couldn't do it. My resistance dissolved the moment I heard his velvet voice, and my stomach tightened in longing. I wanted to hear him beside me, not across some phone line.

"Come home," I pleaded, my voice laced with unexpected sadness. Too much, he affected me. I was smitten.

He said he was almost done, and would make up his absence to me when he came home (he still had to attend to other things first), and I felt bad for controlling him. But he seemed pleased that he was now bound by a promise to spend more time with me, and that made me feel somewhat better. It made my plan seem foolproof, inevitable.

I hung up the phone and walked over to the couch. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to calm the front of emotions lapping at my insides. The countdown had begun.

As I sat there, staring at nothing in particular, twirling the Epi-pen absently around with my fingers, I wondered if Alice would help me in a little grand theft auto while I waited. Surely, she would because I knew she'd be just as excited as I was. Once everything was complete, I would be ready.

In a few hours, I would be drugging Edward Cullen to make him blush.

* * *

Posted: July 15th, 2008.

Author's Note: Woah, sorry for the delay. Oh, and sorry for the extra alert you will get because I'm editing out the Author's note from the last chapter - sorry for the confusion that caused. Sorry for this story's length, considering how simple the plot is. Sorry, but I'm almost done. One or two chapters at most. Sorry for this and sorry for that. Sorry for everything. :)


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